Listening To Radiohead In The Shower

1. Airbag- I get the feeling that there is a very creepy/ very hairy sneakinging up on me while I bathe.

2. Paranoid Android- I envision a quire of monks scrubbing my back, while it figuratively “Rains down” on me.

3. Subterranean Homesick Alien- I get the urge to phone home using the loufa sponge.

4. Exit Music (For A Film)- “Pack and get dressed” says the lead singer, I respond “hold on buddy I’m not even out of the shower yet.

5. Let Down- Another Radiohead song

6. Karma Police- As soon as the singer’s voice kicks in, I feel an instant rush of heroin and collapse in the tub. I then lost the soap but quickly found it, after which I change the lyrics from “For a minute there I lost myself” to “For a minute there I lost my soap, I lost my soap!”

7. Fitter Happier- The random assorted noises track, and in the background there is a computer voice rambling, so naturally I assume that Stephen Hawking is in the shower with me. I ponder deep intellectual points like; whether or not the world is round. (Which I fought with Stephen about for a good 30 minutes, I still think I won, because the world is clearly flat)

8. Electioneering- I am reminded to vote because the election is nearing.

9. Climbing up the Walls- I am a severely depressed computer, I then realize I’m in the shower and quickly short out.

10. No Surprises- I think it will be a song about numbers and the letter of the day, but I am surprised to find out it’s about the lead singer’s brother who’s killed himself.

11. Lucky- I feel like the luckiest man in the world, I even say it aloud, I then drop the soap slip on it, crack my head, and knock my toothbrush into the toilet.

12. Tourist- I feel like a stranger from another bathroom visiting and using the one I’m in.

If you are wondering why I was in the shower for the duration of 53.3 minutes, I will offer this excuse, it takes 49.5 minutes exactly for me to cum.