Thursday, May 10, 2007

Burt Lancaster and Other Thoughts

by Antichrist

Somehow the name Burt Lancaster came into my mind while taking a whiz. When something obscure comes to me, I'll make a guess at it before running to wikipedia. My guess is a 70's actor.

Oh, schnitzel I was right. Anywho, Entenmann's Softee Powdered Popettes look like they are the shit. If it weren't for the "softee" to remind me of my pseudo-diet, half would be gone. My pseudo-diet being to not eat before bed (I'm writing this at 12:30, tremendously efficient in posting nowadays) and to abstain from having multiple dinners. But as I look at the donuts I remember "That's what breakfast's for," sung in Dionne Warwick melody. Eating donuts and cookies for breakfast has kept my spirit young, but my heart elderly. I've also eaten a shit-ton of McGriddles in my day. Fucka McGriddle, McRib is where it's at. October '07 baby. Whooo!. We brought back a lot of the same guys, I think we have a real chance of repeating this year.

I came across Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy yesterday. Some are real funny. The style would be good for a quick one sentence blog post, for when I try to be the most economical with my words, without being trite. Ohh may I never be trite. Anywho, you won't be seeing deep thoughts on this blog. 1) My mind doesn't work that way. 2) It's been done by Phillies announcer Larry Andersen in the form of "Shallow Thoughts." Which are arguably not even the same thing, because they don't have a witty edge.

I miss getting the New York Times on campus. Unabashedly, I miss USA Today as well. I'm too lazy to look up their current polls. I'll never know what percent of Americans love Christmas. So no news for Antichrist. Local news is good in short doses. They're very cloistered though, and by that I mean they have a weakness to electrical attacks. In lieu of national news, they have stories about a postal worker who wouldn't deliver mail to a house because of a threatening cat. Also a story of a man, with one leg and no arms I believe, that led police on a high speed chase.

I've grown weary of my current homepage The stories that come up are interesting sometimes. It's dominated by computer shit, I suppose. If that's what Ubuntu is. It's either some computer shit, or a Japanese shortstop. I see it is an alternative to Windows. Very good.

I watched a little bit of American Idol this week for the first time all season. The only guy left in the contest (the women don't...ahh yes they do concern me. Kelly Clarkson once concerned me) does beatbox effects during every song. It didn't fit too well, being Barry Gibb night, but it was entertaining. What also entertained me was my Barry Gibb impression, which quickly got dumped for my layered and subtle Aaron Neville impression (that I jacked from Horatio Sanz).

As of the past 2 minutes I've become interested in the quality of water in Beijing for the 2008 Olympics. Beijing is spending $160 billion to get itself ready. Why do they care what other people think? That money is good enough for a third of a war. Plus, all of the renovations will make Chicago look bad in it's bid for 2016 Olympics. Good thing they'll have flying cars by then. They can demolish abandoned buildings and fly the debris around until after the Olympics. As a way of bringing the culture of Chicago to the Games, the handle of the Olympic Torch will be fashioned into a shiv.


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