Future Rapper To Be In Prison Since Birth

by Antichrist

In Austin, Texas, the abandoned downtown building that symbolized the dot-com collapse was demolished to make way for a new courthouse. Intel abandoned its construction of the building in 2001 when the tech boom fizzled.
The abandoned building being there for six years before being taken down symbolized the laziness of teamsters.

Bills introduced in the Legislature would remove outdated terms such as the word "idiot" from the Ohio Revised Code.
It will be replaced by the word "Republican."

In Indiana, more than 600 convicted felons showed up at the Tippecanoe County fairgrounds to have their DNA collected.
As is customary, the newly convicted were not allowed to go kayaking or bob for apples like the rest.

Utah legislators gave final approval to a measure yanking the driver's license of people who fall behind in child-support payments.
Now they have the excuse that they couldn't drive to the bank.

A northern Kentucky jail is photographing inmates' tattoos in an effort to track and suppress gang activity.
This procedure has been tested at a Kentucky women's jail, where the Tweety Bird gang was successfully put to rest.

Some newborns in West Virginia could live their first 18 months behind bars. A bill passed by the Senate would let women inmates raise their babies in prison to encourage a strong maternal bond.
This makes a reality of Mooj's joke: When your child is born, is he already on parole?