Thursday, March 01, 2007

Coming Through On Requests

by The Count of Antichristo

With as popular (as the Spanish say) this blog ( has become, it is not queer that from time to time (said in Dane Cook one yellow tooth voice) I get some requests for posts. Maybe its something people specifically want to see (midgets fucking) or something that is funny to them, and want to see me riff upon it (midgets fucking - ok). Either way, I want to give the fans they want.

The first request was from my good friend/lover Heather. This is not to say that Heather and I are lovers, just that she is one, or so I'm told via grapevine. When confronted with the idea de Heather, I was put into blogger's block as they say. Which is to say that I was put into solitary confinement like Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke. So as a way to have the ideas flow, and make a fan happy (unplugging it conserves energy which makes appliances happy - see Simpsons Treehouse of Horror VIII to find little about that) I pulled somewhat of a James Joyce.

Topic: White Castle Reservations

On the past Valentine's Day, White Castle had the service of reservations to be made, along with the restaurant filled with candled atmosphere. Personally I find nothing more romantic than two lovers quelling their craving. As we all know a craving can be sexual. Maybe not even sexual, but sensual. What I propose mister Gov'nah, is that fulfilling the craving is even more sultry.

Imagine yourself with the girl of your dreams (Janet Reno - After my cloudy dreams I can't remember who the girl was and picture the former attorney general) sitting across from you at a White Castle made to look like The Four Seasons. You've just purchased a Craver Case (30 Slyders for you unbelievers) and have decided to split them equally. The repercussions of this is that you both equally get high from the weed the workers sprinkled in. After two Slyders, the girl has had enough, and you eat 28. I am by no way calling Heather, Janet Reno, upon review that is what it appears as.

So that is your February 14th. Did you enjoy? I thought so. The dream is still going on, and you fast-forward this shit a month. You go back to White Castle with your girl, and they are back to normal. Wellll, aalmost. They serve steak instead of burgers. And you are able to make a reservation. The day is March 14th and you are celebrating Steak & a Blowjob Day.


Blogger Ron said...

In honour of such a great holiday, I offer the following Not-For-Hallmark greetings….

It’s March 14th
You know what that means
I’ll gobble your knob
And juggle your beans
Now eat your steak
Like a good little chum
And when you’re all finished
I’ll swallow your cum!

For more information about this wonderful holiday, make sure to visit:

9:32 PM  

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