Saturday, February 10, 2007

Shroom Burger with a Side of Shrooms

College is a place for new and unique experiences. As you’ve probably figured out by reading the title, the “Experience” I am referring too is the consumption of psychedelic mushrooms. What an experience it was, here are my scattered thoughts that I had while in the frenzy of the shroom.

11:10pm in someone’s room

The shrooms were divided among the four of us.

1. Irish

2. Little John- not the rapper

3. Me

4. Chris

Irish is the first to eat a cap; he says “It tastes like dirt.” “Dirt you say” I respond, upon stating this we all went into a feeding frenzy of sorts, and devoured our shrooms in mere seconds. Irish the states we must go to a person’s apartment to write a speech.

11:30pm Alyssa’s apartment

I found out whose apartment it was, I’m starting to feel funny like someone turned on the laughing gas full blast. Suddenly I grow a Charlie Brown type smile, or you could say I was all teeth. I decide to grip a cactus in my right hand; I hold it for a minute and immediately regret such a decision. After Little John gets done pulling out the tiny quills imbedded in my hand we decide to explore new horizons.

12:00am Chris’ room

I pester Chris for a bowl; I am finally gratified when I get the bowl in my hands. I am laughing hysterically about nothing, I move to my room. Guitar sounds amazing; I get preoccupied with some of my posters for a while. Then I move to another apartment to find the others. I wander into a dark room filled with people, this is strange to me for some reason, visualizations play on the TV, and a heavy metal band plays in the background. Little John is fascinated by the visualization features on the X-Box 360; it allows you to control the motion of the camera on the screen. I hear laughter from one of the rooms, my spidey senses tell me that I am in store for a lot of doobage.

12:30am-12*&!@??//?! Smoke Filled Room

Wha… I fade in and out of some weird trance, strange thoughts fill my head. I am delving deep into my sub conscious thinking about existence. I exit the smoke filled room with a burst of deep throated laughter. I stumble into Little John’s room. My eyes catch an inflatable Brian (from Family Guy) safety flotation device, at least that’s what I think it is. I grab it and notice the strange sensation of wetness, Little John walks in the room and I loose it “Eww what did you do with this thing, take a fucking bath with it” I throw it at him in anger. He looks at me and says “Dude this shit isn’t wet at all, in fact it’s quite dry” I am taken aback by this statement, the sensation of wetness was an illusion brought on by the shrooms. I sit for a while and time seems to pass by quickly, I am completely detached from my body, it sounds scary, but it actually was quite enjoyable. People keep coming and going in and out of the apartment, I rise to my feet and head back to my apartment. All four of us gather in the living room, Irish Chris and I are on the couch and Little John is standing in the center of the room. He says he is some type of philosopher, and then he explains how he is seeing everything with the perspective of a camera on a free faller’s helmet cam. We continued to discuss religion and topics of strange deepness, and I never quite heard an expression like “I don’t give a kippers dick” until that night. That had me thinking, “What the fuck is a kipper” and to this very day I still have no idea. After what seemed like 3 days the shroom high had begun to fade and we were left sober, explaining what had just happened to our bodies and our perception. All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience, maybe I’ll take more next time, I want to see Paul Bunyan and his blue donkey riding through the fray of battle next time, even though Paul was in fact a peaceful man, except for when it came to trees.

Minotaur Man


Blogger CrimsonKing said...

I did a report about shrooms in 7th grade. They seem OK, with no serious side effects. This will be a good story to tell the grandkids.

2:25 PM  
Anonymous Andrea said...

A kipper is a fish. Some people call male Salmon "kippers" after they get done spawning.

12:53 AM  

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