Come To Kenya, We've Got Idol

by Antichrist

There are only 730,00 televisions in Kenya, but American Idol star Simon Cowell hopes that his new show will be watched on all of them. The tryouts for the summer special, Kenyan Idol, will likely draw the majority of Kenya's 30 million plus population.

Simon and Paula will be without fellow judge Randy Jackson for the tryouts however.

"I ain't going to the tryouts. I wouldn't be able to watch Simon rip the Kenyans apart," Jackson said.

Cowell however provides a different story: "We have enough bloody black people for this one. The point of the matter is that we didn't invite him."

In an interview of what Paula Abdul might expect, she quickly became misty-eyed. "I won't be able to understand a word they say, but my heart will. I think these people truly want to be a pop star, and all of the food that comes with it."

While Simon and Paula will be exiting Kenya after the auditions, Ryan Seacrest has been assigned for the eight week duration. "The shows going to be great. We don't know if it's going to be picked up in the states, and we're not sure how people are going to text their votes, but I'm sure we'll figure it out."