Philosophy on Women

Sometimes I think it is strange when I realize, my philosophy on women is based off of my top 3 friends. When I see a girl, immediately these three theories cross through my mind. There's the mike theory, any girl will do, including the hairy assed one's, to which he is not so embarrassed as to tell the entire story in full detail, with visual, or physical aid (i.e. the stubble on his neck). Then theirs the Heather approach, if your fucked up enough any girl will do, that's including drunk and high combo's. Then of course the Carl approach, does she have Lolita status, does she have big titties, is she on the heavier side, is she an amputee addicted to meth lactating have 3 kids and like anal, "The Carl Theory" as I like to call it is based strictly on fetish type girls, and also being drunk.
-Minotaur Man