Monday, August 07, 2006

Mel Gibson Arrest Transcript

Male Cop: Please step out of the car sir.
Mel Gibson: Fuck you motherfucker, I don’t answer to Jew pieces of shit.
Male Cop: Step out of the car sir.
Mel Gibson: Are you a Jew? It’s a simple question, yes or no.
Male Cop: Step out of the car sir.
Mel Gibson: You are, so are your little Jew cop friends coming over here. I’m Mel Gibson. Oh shit, that’s a fine piece of Jew Ass. *Steps out of car*
Female Cop: It seems like you’ve been drinking Mr. Gibson. I’m going to have to ask you to take a breathalyzer test.
Mel Gibson: Hey Sugartits, the only thing I wanna drink tonight is that sweet pussy juice. Or should I say Jew-ce. Brawhwhahw *burp*
Female Cop: Point Oh Eight. You’re a lightweight, and legally drunk, you’re coming with us. Please put that away Mr. Gibson.
Mel Gibson: What the fuck do you think you’re fucking looking at sugartits?
Female Cop: A very small penis.
Mel Gibson: That right here’s my lethal weapon.
Male Cop: You have the right to remain silent.
Mel Gibson: Let me tell your rights to you. You’re Jewish, you have no rights.
Male Cop: Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Mel Gibson: The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. Especially the Crimean War. And the war on drugs. And the hip hop coast war.
Male Cop: You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning.
Mel Gibson: I already have an attorney. He’s the only non-Jew lawyer in this state that I’m in right now.
Female Cop: California, Mr. Gibson, you’re in California.
Mel Gibson: Shut up bitch, before I slip my 4 inch Passion down your throat.
Male Cop: If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.
Mel Gibson: I own Malibu. Of course I can afford a lawyer.
Female Cop: Not when Apocalypto tanks, you won’t.
Mel Gibson: What did I tell you cunt? Shut up before I go Mad Max on your sugartit Jew Ass. *throws up* I demand to make a phone call. I want to call Klaus Barbie.

Writer’s Note: Were it not for my one fan, this entry idea would have been left unwritten. I at first planned to pass over (excuse the pun) this opportunity to make fun of Mel Gibson, but now have one person to thank, Heather….Locklear. Thanks for the support. -AC

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