Sunday, August 06, 2006

How to Successfully Boycott the Media

by AC
1) Throw away your television (for dramatic effect, trash it while you have the Chili Peppers song playing).
2) Kill Pat O’Brien.
3) Get rid of your radio. The only thing a radio is good for is getting tricked by Orson Welles.
4) Stay off of all websites except this blog.
5) Realize the irony.
6) Question the irony, then of your definition of irony.
7) Wonder if Alanis Morissette not putting any examples of irony in “Ironic” is a misinterpretation of the meaning, or a case of meta-irony.
8) Confirm the death of Pat O’Brien.
9) Go over to your friend’s house to watch Comedy Central, after you regret throwing away your TV.
10) Don’t watch any of the comedy news shows.
11) Fine, you can watch some Jon Stewart.

How to Successfully End the Boycott
1) Bring Pat O’Brien back to life by setting up a three-way celebrity relationship. The demand for a catchy nickname will shake him from the grave.
2) Get a cheap tv from a junkie like Sam Jackson from Jungle Fever or Jared Leto from Requiem for a Dream.
3) Join the rebel forces in an attack against an evil (well more evil) resurrected Pat O’Brien.


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