Thursday, August 03, 2006

Young S.O.A.P. Fan

by Antichrist
-Billy, stay away from that snake in the yard.
C’mon mom, I wanna play Snakes on a Plane with Rover.
-You better leave those snake shenanigans to Stan Jackson.
Sam Jackson.
-Whatever. I don’t care what his name is.
Dumb bitch.
-What did you just call me?
I said…tongue…twitch. My tongue twitched, I wasn’t calling you anything.
-Aghhh, the snake bit my neck.
-More importantly, you let it get into the house.
-Now it’s your responsibility to GET IT OUT!
Alright! Let’s go Rover, and get this mother fucking snake for mom.
-What did you just say?
I said….Tub Thumping is a bumpin song. That old Chumbawamba song, it’s good.
-No time for 90’s music, go find that snake.
C’mon boy, we’ll find him. Okay, I’ll be Samuel L. Jackson, and you can be Kenan Thompson.
Okay, we can both be Samuel L Jackson.

20 minutes later
-Billy, you and your dog have been trashing the house long enough.
-I’m going to call someone. And why do you have my umbrella?
It’s my light saber. You can’t fight snakes without a light saber.
-Give me that.
Mom, snake!
-Aghhh, it bit the other side of my neck. Did you let the dog out?
-Because you know how…Uncle…Toby…Doctor…Who….CLUNK
C’mon Rover, lets play Snakes on a Plane a little longer


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