Monday, August 14, 2006

James Blunt Rocks The Fans

"When I come here I want to get away from it all and I just keep to myself so I'd like some privacy in return. I've gone out and bought a gun that shoots rocks so if I catch anyone hanging around then I'll get them with that." -James Blunt Link

Set Up: James Blunt is recording his hit "You're Beautiful" in his house on the Spanish island of Ibiza. Outside there is a congregation of local Spaniards and tourists who made the trek to see their favorite rocker. -AC

Agent: Alright James, there's some people outside, I think after you're done recording, it'd be nice to go out there and sign a few autographs.
James Blunt: No way dick.
Dick the Agent: Well, if during recording they bother you, just let me know.
James Blunt: I hate them so much. But let's record.

James Blunt: My life is brilliant...
Fans: James we love you!!
James Blunt: I can't do this.
Dick the Agent: Alright, I'll go and talk to them.
James Blunt: No way, I got something perfect for them. Let's try recording again.

James Blunt: My life is brilliant...
Fans: Nosotros le adoramos!!!
Fans: What the fuck was that?
James Blunt: My life is brilliant.
Female Fan: Ahhhhh, I'm hit.
Male Fan: This lady is seriously hurt, she needs immediate medical attention.
Doctor Fan: Don't worry, I'm a doctor.
James Blunt: My love is pure.
Male Fan: Shit, he was a doctor too, he could have helped. He hasn't shot any for a while, maybe he's out of rocks.
Bystander: Hey what's going on here.
James Blunt: She caught my eye, as I walked on by.
Bystander: Ahhhhh my fucking eye.
James Blunt: She could see from my face that I was
James Blunt: Fucking High
Male Fan: .....
Female Fan: ....
Bystander: .....
Dick the Agent: Are you happy, you've killed them all.
James Blunt: No. I'll never be happy. Not until I find that crack whore that I wrote this song about when I was high as shit back in Reno.
Dick the Agent: Can we get back to recording?
James Blunt: Wait, there's one more.
Dick the Agent: ......


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