It's Legal, But Not In The US

by Antichrist
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In a story that will only tantalize teens that love Phish, beluga caviar is now legal, but only overseas. While it is still relatively easy to score some in America, albeit with rising prices, officials expect an influx of travelers to one of the five Caspian countries. This is mainly due to the desire to walk right up to a cop and eat beluga caviar in his face.

What is surprising is that environmentalists are against the legalization. Stereotypes insist they like to sit around in a circle and pass the bowl off to their friends. If they were to indulge, a minor still finds it easier to get his hands on some beluga caviar than a bottle of corona.

A message to caviar-heads: If the issue comes up in a vote, try to remember to make it there. I know how easy you guys forget things.