Monday, January 29, 2007

Baraka To Run For President

In a surprise decision this week, Mortal Kombat character Baraka, has thrown himself into the pit of Democratic nomination hopefuls. The unforgiving Tarkatan warrior (full name Baraka Bama) could be the first President to be a five star general since Eisenhower.

Baraka has also garnered some interest from the Religious Right. He exhibits an undying loyalty to his "master," and is not keeping it in the shadows. His religious opposition comes mainly from the Shaolin Monks, after Mr. Bama orchestrated an attack on the Shaolin Temple of Light.

Due to increase popularity with Netherealm demons, some wonder if he is fully Tarkatan enough, due to his Outworld ancestry. However it is hard to deny his unique features: a long face, sharp teeth, and blades coming out from his arms.

While Baraka has not fully revealed all of his platform, some of his morals have been put into question. For one his marital status raises a slew of issues. Since he currently has a queen, Mileena, will he push to establish a monarchy? Also to make matters even more complicated, Mileena is a clone, which brings in ethical problems.

Mr. Bama's plan for the war in Iraq seems to be predictable. He lacks a moving move, so will not quickly put forth an exit strategy. However, it is probable that he will change the amount of troops in the order of: up, down, down, up.

In closing, if Baraka Bama can dispell the notions that he is an inexperienced low-tier contender, expect him to shred the competition.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

up, down, high kick, low punch= john mccain loses

9:24 PM  

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