Friday, August 18, 2006

Gay Coach

by Antichrist
Fabulous practice you guys. Ass-is-taut Coach Robespierre and I want to make some remarks before you share the showers. Your young supple bodies glistening as you pass the single bar of soap to your teammates, oops did it slip out of your hands, let me get that for you, you’ll say. Eager to try what you’ve only dreamt...

COACH!

Oh, yes the remarks. I don’t mean to pick a certain position to focus on, because Coach Robespierre usually does that for me...tehehe. Anyways, the quarterbacks were really dragging today with giving hand-offs. You need to caress each ball every time. And when you take the snap, make sure your hands stay firmly under the center. I don’t know how many times I’ve shown you how it’s done, and how many times the Principal made me write letters to your parents about it. Also, the running backs, I’m free tomorrow if you want to practice taking it hard up the middle. The wideouts need work too. If you’re going to receive, reserve your aggressiveness. You should take notes from our 3 tight ends on the roster. Five if you count me and Robespierre, tehehe. You guys know how much I love watching the battle in the trenches. Dirty uniforms, hands every which way. The pileup after a fumble, not knowing where you end and the other player begins.

COACH!

What? Okay, one last thing. Ass-is-taut Coach Robespierre brought it to my attention that our celebrations are poorly choreographed. Maybe you can sleep over one another’s house and practice. And make sure you video tape it, so I can see how you’re …um…progressing. That’s it for today, I had some of my construction worker friends, I mean there’s some construction going on around the showers. You’ll have to squeeze into a little smaller area until they’re finished. And the towel closet has been moved from right next to the showers to my office. Grab a towel when you’re done.

Coach?

Yes Jeremy.

Can’t we get the towel before we go to the showers, that way we won’t have to walk naked back to your office?

No.

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