Monday, December 11, 2006

Antichrist's Warning of the Week: The Wii

Ever since the release of the Wii, injuries have befallen many a gamer. I did some empirical study to get at the source. No, I haven't played the Wii. No, I haven't seen anyone injure themself playing. What I have done however, is seen the Wii in a glass case at a video game store. And boy does that thing look dangerous.

Some injuries that have been reported are sore backs and shoulders. This is the first known case of latissimus dorsi strains since the inception of the silent killer "Duck Hunt." Moving a stick around is almost like playing the actual sport. I respect these chronic injuries that can occur due to overuse of the "gamer's elbow."

Injuries that I cannot respect are the arm flailing debaucheries. Broken glass everywhere, bloody hands, and exploding controllers do not garner my repsect. Not because of the drunkeness of the users, but of the idea behind it...Medical bills.

I did some more empirical study about this company Nintendo, and found a link to medical professions...Dr. Mario. Apparently he's been associated with the company for a substantial amount of time. Is he the mastermind behind a system that has caused injuries across the country, in an effort to draw new patients? I'll let you decide America. This has been Antichrist with the Warning of the Week.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

it was funnier the second time

8:48 PM  
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8:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They use the cute name to lure you in. That's how they get you.

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! Awesome! A couple of days ago I wrote a much more serious post about someone being injured playing Guitar Hero but I much prefer yours.

8:57 PM  

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